Someone recently posed this question to Reddit: Redditors who have nearly been murdered but talked your way out of it, what did you say to your would-be killer that saved your life?
Turns out, there are lots of Reddit users who have been "nearly murdered," or else mugged or threatened at gun or knife point, or know someone who has. And many were reportedly able to escape using only the power of their words.
We are glad everyone is OK. And here are some of their stories, including the things they said which may or may not have saved their lives. It's official: I'm never leaving the house again.
1. Formoula just told him to "chill":
I talked my way out of getting stabbed when I was being robbed. I don't know if he would have murdered me but definitely would have fucked me up. I just told him to chill and put the knife away and he could have whatever the fuck he wanted. So he put his knife away and went through my shit while I stood there annoyed. I went for breakfast with a girl right after and carried on with my day
2. PituitaryBombardier never got his money back, but whatever:
I almost got knifed in the Dominican Republic by these two kids in this tiny town, Bayahibe, they saw me walking around at night and came to my hotel with knives. I was out on the balcony in front of my room and they come up to me not saying a word but brandishing large enough knives. So I put my hands up and real cool like reached in my pocket and handed them like 200$ local currency and they ran off.
...Anyways, so this town is small and I walked over to the police station and explained what happened and the cops are like, "Oh yeah we probably know who it is. Come back tomorrow morning at 9 and we'll have you identify them." Came back at 9 and they had both of them in custody. Never did get my money back, but whatever.
3. Twothumbsthisgy's friend's mom is an actual SuperHero™:
My friend's mother was bringing in the groceries. As she was walking the bags up the stairs she turned to find a man, who had snuck into the garage after her car, pointing a rifle at her.
"Shhhh!" She said, with a finger to her lips, "you have to get out of here. You're going to be in big trouble!"
He looked around, panicked, and ran.
"Whoa, whoa! Just wait a minute!"
That's what I said to the guy who'd just slammed me face-first into an ATM and drew a knife on me as I staggered to my feet. I kicked him and ran out of the bank's vestibule. By the way, he went to prison!
5. lornstar7 learned about the power of an apology:
When I was 22 I had a gun put in my face because I was drunk and probably hit on his gf.
I apologized and told him he's a lucky guy. Idk how that worked.
6. warmeveryday brought protection. It worked.
I'm 19, First time in Europe, started in Italy visiting relatives and first night I went out for a walk. Group of guys looking like trouble pushed me around and then showed me their knives demanding money, which I seemed to obviously have since I stood out as a foreigner by my clothes. Except all I had on me was $20 and a condom because I was so naive from hearing how easy it was to get laid. I was expecting local girls to just see me and approach me to have sex. So I explained this to these guys in broken 1960s-Italian gleamed from my parents. They laughed their ass off and wished me luck.
17. DisturbedLady's great-grandma knew the way to a man's heart is through his dog:
Not me, my Great-Grandma was being held at knife-point. Noticed the threat had brought his dog along. Decided to say "That's a pretty little dog you got there..." and then the person dropped the knife and talked about his dog.
8. Junk food saves lives, via chabuddy-g:
Was walking home from work at a pizza place, two guys approach me wielding knives, I'm wearing headphones so can't hear what they said but I assume it had to do with them taking my shit.
I throw my pizza box at the first guy, Frisbee style, throw my drink at the second guy, normal style, and take off running.
Didn't talk my way out except for the "oh fuck" when I realized what was happening, but still crazy.
9. Never go anywhere without PUssY_CaTMC's mom:
I don't know if he wanted to murder us, but was definitely up to no good. My mom and I were just walking somewhere, I don't remember to where I was much younger, but it was in the south of France somewhere. There was a guy who came around the corner and got in our way telling us he has a gun in his pocket, probably bs, and that we needed to give him everything to pass. My mom grew up in Paris and walked through shady parts when she was younger and knows how to react, so she just straight up told him no thanks, slapped his shoulder a little to push him out of the way and we went by him.
10. ImaginaryFrogRape's dad went out for a pack of cigs, almost didn't come back:
Not me but my dad. He was about 25 at the time, probably 35 years ago now.
He lived in a bad neighborhood and after getting a pack of cigs from a 7/11, he was sitting in his car for a second and a young guy came up to his window with a gun. My dad said he said "give me all your money or I'll kill you right here, right now"
He said "look, I have 30 dollars. And frankly, that fucking money is mine. You're going to have to kill me for it. Is it worth the blood of a human and most likely life in prison for 30 fucking dollars?"
He said the guy had this type of "well whatever" attitude about it, gave him a "goobye" tap on his car like he just came up to say hello, and walked away.
He said the guy was really casual about it. Oddly so. He didn't sleep well for a few months after that experience.
11. partofbreakfast was technically robbed at gunpoint for Oreos (also DON'T LET KIDS NEAR GUNS. Or adults.)
I was babysitting for my cousins (aged 5 and 3, I was 14 at the time) and the 5-year-old found his dad's handgun and was waving it around like a toy. He was pointing it at things and pretending to shoot them (not putting his finger on the trigger thankfully), and at one point he pointed it at me and pretended to be a bank robber. I told him if he handed me the gun he could go get the package of oreos on the counter and we could have some. It actually worked, and I stuck the gun on a high shelf until my aunt and uncle came home.
As it turned out, the gun was loaded. My aunt made my uncle buy a gun safe and put all the guns in the garage after that.
tl;dr: for the love of god don't leave your firearms where your young children can find them. No matter how much you tell them it's not a toy, they will still treat it like a toy.
I think you technically got robbed at gunpoint for Oreos
I'm not entirely sure how close I was to being "murdered". This took place back when i worked the register at mcdonalds. It was around 10, we weren't 24 hour and would be closing up soon, and in walks a guy that's drunk off his ass. He comes up to the counter and starts chatting with me about nothing in particular, mostly nonsese i can't remember but i started to get the impression he wasn't just drunk. I'm doing my best to just humor him, waiting for him to leave when out of nowhere he says, "If i was gonna kill everyone in here, i'd kill you first because you look like you'd know what to do". A bit of morbid a morbid joke i thought and said "uh, thanks?". At this point he pulled out a gun from his waistband and pointed it at me. It wasn't like a full on point more like he was limply holding the gun in my general direction. I didn't know what to do and only hoped to god he was still joking. He then said "bang" and tucked the gun backed into his wasteband. I think that he just wanted to let me know that he could kill me if he wanted to. He left shortly after that. I informed my manager ad was later told that man was both a regular and longtime friend of my manger, who tried to downplay what had happened. I left that job shortly after for school.
13. crash4650 never did get their tacos:
I was once in the drive through of a Las Vegas Jack-in-the-box that was being robbed. I pulled up to the window and this guy inside the window points a .45 at my face and says "You better get the fuck out of here homey". I was so shocked that the only thing I thought was "What about my tacos?"
14. peeglit's story will make you sad for the robber:
I was accosted by a young kid with a gun, he couldn't have been more than 13. I cant remember the exact conversation, but basically, the kid looked at me and said, "Give me anything you have, and I'll let you go." I wanted to freak out, but something in me said to remain calm. I said something like, "Is that a real gun or an airsoft?" And he pulled out the clip. Sure enough, it was real, surprisingly. I said, "Look, kid. I don't have anything but five bucks and this shitty phone that isn't going to really get you anything. Is this really worth life in prison if you shoot me?" He looked at me, looked at the gun, looked at me, started crying, and turned around and walked away.
15. DeeHaas' dad, will you be my bodyguard?
Didn't happen to me, but my dad was getting gas in a particularly sketchy part of town that he wasn't usually in. A man approaches my dad as he is filling his gas tank, points a gun at my dad and shouts "give me your wallet!". Instead my dad pulls the gas nozzle out of his truck and sprays the guy. At the time, my dad smoked and pulled out his zippo lighter and begins to strike it. The best part is that the robber called the police on my dad for trying to light him on fire. In the end my dad got away with nothing and the other guy got hauled away in a police car.
16. eagleeyerattlesnake's brother has an oddly life-saving superpower:
My brother was attacked in our house by a guy with a knife. My brother didn't know the guy had a knife when he put the guy in a headlock. When he whistled for Dad, the guy dropped the knife and covered his ear. By the way, my brother can whistle at about 120 dB, louder if he's angry. So, my brother pulled the guy's hand off his ear, put his mouth down to the guy's ear, and just whistled as loudly as he could 4 or 5 times. When Dad got to them and threw the guy out the door, the guy couldn't even stand up straight as his equilibrium had been thrown completely off.
He's probably still deaf.
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